In the intricate mosaic of our lives, self-esteem is that vital thread that holds everything together. Without it, things unravel quickly.

PICTURE THIS – Imagine being full of self-confidence. You get out of bed full of energy. You take on each day, fearlessly welcoming challenges and radiating positivity that repels every form of negativity. Sound wonderful, right?

But, let’s be real – a lot of us are battling the beast of low self-esteem.

And, it’s not just some passing struggle. It shows up in the fears that take root in our mind. Creating endless worries that jostle about with this nagging self-criticism that refuses to shut up. And it’s fuelled by an all-encompassing self-directed anger that’s like an uninvited tenant you just can’t get rid of.

The Science is clear. Study after study has shown that low self-esteem affects us in these ways:

Now, let’s pause for a second to really let this sink in: right from the get-go, there was nothing wrong with us.

As a child we were wired to be free to make mistakes as we learned and evolved – that was all part of the deal, free from the baggage of shame. Our quirks were meant to be like the badges of honour they are, not proof that we’re anything less than awesome.

Imagine if we all grew up in a nurturing, accepting and supportive environment. Our self-worth would be through the roof. There’d be no limit to our potential. No shame to bog us down to tell us we’re not good enough.

So, what next? Well, let’s embark on a special mission to level up and to truly get to know ourselves so we can grow beyond what’s been holding us back.

Here’s a challenge: while you still go about a normal day, dedicate yourself to jotting down every self-critical thought that sneaks into your brain. Then in the evening, look at that list and pair each entry with a person or experience that’s the source of that negative thought.

This is much harder than it seems, because these critical thoughts might have become wired in your brain a long time ago. Just do your best at this and drop any perfectionist tendencies.

Remind yourself that not one of these self-defeating thoughts came from your natural state, they developed through negative interactions with the world around you.

You see, this exercise is like cracking a code. Those negative thoughts? They have roots, and trust me, those roots are often tangled in with someone or something from your past. By exposing these origins, we start disarming their hold on our self-esteem. Suddenly, that inner critic can start sounding a lot like someone else’s opinion, and not our own.

Now I want to give you five more things you can practice today as you continue your quest in developing unshakeable self-confidence. Give these a try:

It’s time to truly own your story, embrace change, and unleash a fresh perspective.

Now, I know that diving into the chaotic world of your learned negative patterns can be overwhelming, even as it’s also a powerful way to uncover the ability to free up your mind. You see, releasing the old baggage clears space to channel your energy into daring new adventures.

Every step forward is a choice to swap out doubt for self-kindness, to exchange criticism for self-approval.

You’re embarking on a journey that may require some time, and it’s genuinely the most crucial expedition you’ll ever undertake. This is all about reshaping your connection with the most important person in your life – yourself. It’s like sculpting a masterpiece of self-esteem as you chisel away doubts and fears to unveil your true beauty.

Always remember: You can do this!

– Sincerely, Dr. Michael Haggstrom, Relationship, Anxiety & Trauma Expert