“I had to find a way to heal, for just a few months later, my mother’s life was tragically cut short. But the only way I found to cope was to numb the pain.” – Dr. Michael Haggstrom

Alisha: A toxic romantic relationship caused Alisha to lose sight of her own worth, making it challenging for her to truly recognize healthy love.

Jacob: Jacob’s experience of rejection in school made him build walls that hardened his heart, preventing keeping him from forming meaningful relationships as an adult.

Olivia: Growing up in a household with constant criticism caused Olivia to struggle believing that anyone could genuinely care for her, hindering her ability to accept love.

Amin: Amin’s traumatic past made him believe that love only brings pain, leading him to isolate and avoid emotional connections with others.

Each of these individuals has faced harsh realities, including the sting of pain and betrayal. Experiences such as bullying, rejection, and abuse can lead us to construct impervious walls as a form of self-defense, in an effort to shield ourselves from potential future pain.

However, the truth is this: as we surrender our power to toxic individuals or painful circumstances, we inadvertently rob ourselves of something profoundly precious. We deprive ourselves of the chance to discover and embrace genuine, significant connections with those who truly resonate with us.

What’s worse is that we chip away at the intimate connection we once had to our very essence as human beings.

Relearning the art of embracing love – starting with love for ourselves and extending it to others – is no simple feat, especially when we’ve grown accustomed to numbing our hearts. While life might feel secure behind these protective barriers, it can also become a realm of profound loneliness.

Consider this: Even clay from a broken pot can always be refashioned into something new. It just needs to let the potter do her work.

Through my own transformation, I’ve learned that numbing the pain offers only temporary relief, that it’s an unsustainable refuge.

True healing, on the other hand, is a more powerful process that reclaims our hearts, minds, and even our own humanity. Within such healing, vulnerability becomes strength, and unshakeable resilience is forged.

You see, I know that love and peace can be lost after experiencing pain, betrayal, or rejection. Self-erected walls are appealing because they seem to provide the promise of shielding us from future pain. However, those same walls become barriers to joy and connection. They isolate us in a fortress of our own creation. We become emotionally numb and develop avoidant-attachment.

But underneath all this avoidance, is a welling up of tremendous anxiety that reminds us of the past every time we get triggered. You see, repressed pain will eventually cause us exhaustion, depression and even turn into an anxiety disorder if left untreated.

Here lies the essential truth: to mend our wounds is to mend our capacity to love.

Whether it’s the aftermath of heartbreak or the aftermath of abuse, healing has the potential of reigniting the flames of joy and love. In healing, the shackles of past pain are cast aside, allowing us to embrace love reborn and fortified.

I truly believe that LOVE, in its purest form, is life’s most exquisite masterpiece. Its radiance eclipses all else, and its transformative power leads us from the depths of despair to the summits of joy.

But to fully experience this, we must first confront our shadows, dismantle the walls, and refuse to let love die out. You see, it’s essential to rekindle the flames of hope, of what love can once again become. Because you see, your very humanity depends on it.

What I’ve learned is that every emotion, every experience, even trauma, can be a thread in the intricate tapestry of our lives. Though it may be tough, I want to encourage you to see if you can let healing become the thread that renews your connection to love.

You see, I’ve worked with clients who’ve experienced some of the worst trauma’s any of us will ever know; and who’ve been able to heal from the pain of abandonment, bullying, sexual abuse, torture, betrayal and extreme neglect.

Know this: You have the right to take your time, it’s on your terms and no one else’s. Your agenda. You can take as long as you need to heal, as long as you need to learn how to discern who to trust again and when.

I know what it’s like. I’ve been there. Staying behind the walls of self-protection can seem a whole lot easier, but what I’ve learned is that opening yourself up to love again is so very worth it.

– Sincerely, Dr. Michael Haggstrom, Doctor in Counselling